Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
