I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
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based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Even my vagina gasped.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
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He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?