I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.