You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize