I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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