I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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