I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
