I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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