Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize