she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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