Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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