I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so let's talk penis.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
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My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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