3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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