omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
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she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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