I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
