The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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