its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
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and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
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Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard