I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?