No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing