why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.