I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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