Heybabeimwearingurpanties
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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