Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
