my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize