I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.