yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
a victory without nudity is not really a victory