its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out