so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.