For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
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There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.