Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I currently don't understand fingers.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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