im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.