I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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