This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
