Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
