Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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