omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
sex in a hospital.. check
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I think I just sharted jello shots
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