I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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