Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven