good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?