Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.