You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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