did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
