i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I cut my penus on the lid.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize