Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
