apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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