2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
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