do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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