ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize