We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
