My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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