I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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