He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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