Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize