Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.

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  (570): remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident. http://tfl.nu/c1ns
  Replies (4) Good night (856) Bad night (1414)
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  (516): View more from New York

  shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.

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  (516): shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/hrom
  Replies (11) Good night (1217) Bad night (3268)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.

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  (918): He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is. http://tfl.nu/or0q
  Replies (20) Good night (4623) Bad night (1001)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?

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  (419): I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included? http://tfl.nu/4lo3
  Replies (17) Good night (5173) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.

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  (412): I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish. http://tfl.nu/e99m
  Replies (6) Good night (958) Bad night (3552)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.

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  (516): He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes. http://tfl.nu/agxg
  Replies (14) Good night (1304) Bad night (4521)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction

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  (505): i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction http://tfl.nu/hb6q
  Replies (10) Good night (989) Bad night (4514)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back

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  (602): Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back http://tfl.nu/8iy3
  Replies (2) Good night (2318) Bad night (731)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.

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  (989): I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made. http://tfl.nu/gowl
  Replies (6) Good night (3778) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.

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  (757): I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game. http://tfl.nu/w4nu
  Replies (16) Good night (1070) Bad night (2680)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

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  (717): Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake. http://tfl.nu/07i4
  Replies (14) Good night (1748) Bad night (2616)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.

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  (239): Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest. http://tfl.nu/uwa9
  Replies (10) Good night (1540) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.

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  (253): I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board. http://tfl.nu/lkp6
  Replies (5) Good night (672) Bad night (1474)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building

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  (586): Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building http://tfl.nu/p9dh
  Replies (4) Good night (1202) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator

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  (914): Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator http://tfl.nu/9f4r
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (370)

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