Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.

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(650): i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry. http://tfl.nu/ss3s

Replies (6) Good night (3326) Bad night (899)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Did you see that girl I got with last night?

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..

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(541): Did you see that girl I got with last night? (1-541): Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay.. http://tfl.nu/om6e

Replies (13) Good night (1058) Bad night (3883)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.

(605): View more from South Dakota

WTF??? Isn't he married??

(910): View more from North Carolina

Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL

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(910): He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding. (605): WTF??? Isn't he married?? (910): Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL http://tfl.nu/eb9x

Replies (19) Good night (1059) Bad night (4335)
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(407): View more from Florida

Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.

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(407): Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go. http://tfl.nu/d64s

Replies (10) Good night (4285) Bad night (963)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.

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(703): I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone. http://tfl.nu/c91d

Replies (4) Good night (2509) Bad night (1100)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.

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(617): you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on. http://tfl.nu/kzav

Replies (4) Good night (1236) Bad night (4932)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.

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(701): He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon. http://tfl.nu/hvqj

Replies (5) Good night (1625) Bad night (792)
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(419): View more from Ohio

His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch

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(419): His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch http://tfl.nu/wbxj

Replies (13) Good night (4245) Bad night (1561)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.

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(504): Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed. http://tfl.nu/fl8o

Replies (12) Good night (4559) Bad night (975)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.

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(603): I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression. http://tfl.nu/ii3j

Replies (7) Good night (1464) Bad night (652)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.

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(570): I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know. http://tfl.nu/puq8

Replies (10) Good night (1841) Bad night (611)
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(217): View more from Illinois

If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...

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(217): If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out... http://tfl.nu/9czx

Replies (1) Good night (1183) Bad night (653)
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(512): View more from Texas

I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...

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(512): I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair... http://tfl.nu/zi5i

Replies (16) Good night (796) Bad night (1625)
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(971): View more from Oregon

you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON

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(971): you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON http://tfl.nu/6e6p

Replies (8) Good night (2346) Bad night (376)
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(954): View more from Florida

Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.

(1-954): View more from Florida

Pathetic yet considerate

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(954): Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up. (1-954): Pathetic yet considerate http://tfl.nu/ng7i

Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (289)

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