Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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