Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?

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  (248): I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob? http://tfl.nu/efyh
  Replies (44) Good night (783) Bad night (3405)
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  (925): View more from California

  You make homosexuality sound like a cult.

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  (925): You make homosexuality sound like a cult. http://tfl.nu/swwi
  Replies (20) Good night (961) Bad night (2714)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.

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  (270): The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home. http://tfl.nu/2p12
  Replies (59) Good night (3850) Bad night (1167)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.

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  (847): woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score. http://tfl.nu/p406
  Replies (26) Good night (9182) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.

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  (815): Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me. http://tfl.nu/oi7v
  Replies (6) Good night (1806) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss

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  (724): Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss http://tfl.nu/6mbx
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out

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  (608): She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out http://tfl.nu/4oi1
  Replies (6) Good night (452) Bad night (871)
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  (818): View more from California

  Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there

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  (818): Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there http://tfl.nu/eul5
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left

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  (412): I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left http://tfl.nu/b3w5
  Replies (12) Good night (405) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie

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  (203): I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie http://tfl.nu/otf2
  Replies (7) Good night (1144) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single

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  (615): Vodka tonic time....wish me luck! (1-615): Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single http://tfl.nu/b04m
  Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.

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  (+44): Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face. http://tfl.nu/j54i
  Replies (8) Good night (2357) Bad night (350)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!

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  (551): I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?! http://tfl.nu/sdve
  Replies (5) Good night (716) Bad night (164)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.

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  (860): I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today. http://tfl.nu/vp47
  Replies (7) Good night (233) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.

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  (512): It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should. http://tfl.nu/c9et
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (168)

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