Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.

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(563): I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers. http://tfl.nu/uen6

Replies (6) Good night (1073) Bad night (642)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.

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(610): The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem. http://tfl.nu/6hmf

Replies (34) Good night (2070) Bad night (869)
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(314): View more from Missouri

My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.

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(314): My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control. http://tfl.nu/vcg1

Replies (9) Good night (1108) Bad night (2987)
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(440): View more from Ohio

This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.

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(440): This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/kbq6

Replies (6) Good night (1109) Bad night (3328)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Either way I should probably pregame on the plane

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(248): Either way I should probably pregame on the plane http://tfl.nu/xs77

Replies (10) Good night (5245) Bad night (766)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.

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(301): Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning. http://tfl.nu/0np0

Replies (6) Good night (5577) Bad night (861)
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(219): View more from Indiana

she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.

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(219): she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade. http://tfl.nu/8ipj

Replies (11) Good night (3521) Bad night (1607)
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(702): View more from Nevada

You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy

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(702): You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy http://tfl.nu/41n6

Replies (11) Good night (4147) Bad night (1002)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out

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(814): Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out http://tfl.nu/m2bp

Replies (6) Good night (1704) Bad night (601)
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(515): View more from Iowa

This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.

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(515): This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity. http://tfl.nu/l9v1

Replies (5) Good night (1303) Bad night (714)
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(303): View more from Colorado

accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

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(303): accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones... http://tfl.nu/822e

Replies (4) Good night (2565) Bad night (648)
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(301): View more from Maryland

That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?

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(301): That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit? http://tfl.nu/b6j9

Replies (1) Good night (941) Bad night (507)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.

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(208): Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/nw7i

Replies (10) Good night (1059) Bad night (509)
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(434): View more from Virginia

You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater

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(434): You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/8eoi

Replies (6) Good night (989) Bad night (368)
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(519): View more from Ontario

We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.

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(519): We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek. http://tfl.nu/mffc

Replies (1) Good night (806) Bad night (358)

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