no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.