i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.