he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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