I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize