I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The uberlube is also flammable
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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