I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
