Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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