dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?