I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..