I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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